


you and i have fought for the nights and days

by reinacadeea



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Drowning, M/M, mention of holly's death, minorly explicit sex, robert worries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinacadeea/pseuds/reinacadeea
Summary: robert reflects on commitment pre-super soap week





	

**Author's Note:**

> title is paraphrased by a danish songwriter rasmus walter. amazing song, amazing voice.

It feels weird waiting around for the funeral to finish, sitting in the pub making idle small talk while Holly's lifeless body is put to ground. Robert didn't know her well, not in the same intense way Aaron did, but he does his best to keep Aaron's mind from wandering too far and in a direction he might not fight his way out off.

"I thought Moira didn't want black at the funeral," he tells Aaron when Rebecca has finally scampered off.

"Not at the funeral, am I," Aaron says, pressing his thighs against Robert in comfort. "Besides, when am I ever going to wear a three-piece suit?"

Robert can feel the warmth from his boyfriend and sidles just a bit closer, for comfort and because it still makes his heart go faster. "Any other day, I'd happily pull it off you piece by piece."

Aaron snorts. "What a surprise."

The mood turns weird after the marriage talk and he follows Aaron upstairs hesitantly. Aaron silently undresses, the mood sombre, like the realisation that Holly is dead and gone had finally set in.

"I know..." Robert begins but Aaron stops him by putting his arms around Robert's shoulders and pulling their faces close. Robert wants to kiss too and they press their lips together, chastely, and it gives him comfort and peace unlike anything else.

Holly was happy. She looked happy and content and now she's dead.

Grief happens in so many stages, but he still feels the weird pang in his chest from the unfairness of it all. They are all so young, Aaron the same age almost to the year. If he thinks too much about it, he can imagine finding Aaron like Moira found Holly, dead and gone because of something beyond their control.

It stings inside him and he can feel his commitment to Aaron grow and solidify into something even more tangible and real.

"I'll go back downstairs, give you some peace and quiet, okay?" he tells Aaron softly and Aaron nods against his embrace.

 

-

 

Rebecca is a weird reminder of his old life, excitement and lust pulled into one, yet when she offers it all, the only thing he can think of is that she's nothing. Rebecca was easy. They wanted the same thing, had the same values and recognised something in each other.

The major difference between now and then is that while Rebecca stayed exactly the same, Robert has grown. He's changed. He changed because he wanted to, because he felt something he couldn't escape and now that he's got it - the thought of not waking up with Aaron in the morning... He's sure it's a fate worse than death.

"Engagement rings," the man behind the counter says.

"For men," Robert says and his heart is beating fast.

The sales clerk gives him a happy smile. "I've got a nice selection of elegant bands. Anything in particular you've envisioned?"

"Something strong," Robert says. "Something that endures the weather and tear of life."

It's perfect.

He pushes Aaron up against the loo door, feels fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly. The ring is burning in his pocket and with a stray fleeting thought he wonders what Aaron think it is that's poking him in the chest. To Robert, it's the bond he wants to weld, the fidelity he wants to promise and the vision of a future where they continue to do things together until they are 'like eighty'.

"Thought about you all day," Aaron whispers between their kisses and Robert grins against his mouth.

"Me, too."

"Everyone is out tonight," Aaron says cheekily. "Want to make a bit of noise for once?"

 

-

 

Intense has always been a word he would describe their sex life with. He pulls the green jumper over Aaron's head, mushing the dark hair in the process, and leans down to connect their mouths again, tongues exploring obscenely. Aaron pulls at his jacket and he lets it slide from his shoulder, dumping it on the floor without a care, and let's Aaron attack the small buttons on his shirt while he backs up against the bed.

Aaron lands on top of him on the bed, hands spread on each side of Robert's head, and Robert pushes his hips up, two layers of trousers and pants coming between bare skin and even more pleasure. He circles Aaron's shoulder blades, scratching at the short dark hair at the base of Aaron's skull, eliciting a moan and lips moving their way down Robert's tummy. He feels the heat of Aaron's breath, hears the belt buckle being opened and groans when Aaron’s mouth encircles him.

"Yes," he gasps and clenches his hands in the bedding. He lets the feeling overwhelm him and happily accepts Aaron sidling back up and into another languid snog.

It feels intense in a way it hasn’t for a while. Routines and daily life comes in the way of passion; he remembers barn meet-ups and the back of cars like it’s yesterday, but he won’t trade it for having Aaron every day. So, he does. He sinks into Aaron, both groaning hotly against each other. He shifts behind Aaron, their bodies aligning, and drags out a moan against their joined hands. 

Robert wants to commit and it’s a heady feeling because he can feel it in the pit of his stomach, in the recesses of his bitter heart now opened wide and having someone else into it. For so long, he stood of the outskirts of Aaron’s life, looking in and wishing he had Adam’s confidence or Victoria’s years-long knowledge and support. But he’s here now, back in Aaron’s inner circle, being allowed to fold Aaron into his arms and whisper love into his ear and mean every word of it, no shame, no need to hide. There is no reason to hide anymore. 

 

-

 

Aaron is saying he loves him, he never stopped (he never stopped) and he’s trapped in a car, the murky water rising alongside his panic. 

This won’t be the day Aaron dies. 

 

-

 

(fin 27-10-16)

**Author's Note:**

> come and have a wave on tumblr. as always i'm reinacadeea there as well. leave a comment and i'll give you a cookie :)


End file.
